J Rock Motivates

2012-01-17T02:12:00.001-08:00

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We Don't Attract What We Want, But Who We Are

2011-12-27T15:50:00.000-08:00

We Don’t Attract What We Want, We Attract Who We Are
By: Junice Rockman
Certified Life Coach & Freelance Journalist

Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle or “holding pattern” in your life seemingly going through the same things over and over again? If you find yourself having re-occurring challenges in your life recognize there may be a test in the situation that you haven’t passed yet. It’s almost like being in school, just because you get older, doesn’t give you permission to pass to the next grade, until you learned what you were supposed to in your current grade.

I often say, “In life we don’t attract what we want, we attract WHO we are”. Examine your closest friendships, look at your career choices and look at the positive or negative situations that happen systematically in your life. Look for patterns and in those patterns you’ll find deeper meaning that reflects who you are. Your current life reflects what you believe about yourself - what you believe you deserve. For example, if you find yourself in friendships or relationships that you are always on the giving end and have a hard time receiving the same kindness back that you give out, it’s time to ask yourself what you believe about what you deserve. Do you believe that you deserve to be in friendships that pour into you, strengthen you and give back to you? Or do you believe you always have to be on the giving end? Are you always the encourager, trying to fix things and fix everyone in your life or it is time to free yourself and realize it’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone is happy all of the time? These are the kinds of belief systems that dictate our choices, our actions and ultimately our results. If you want to change the results you have on the outside, you have to change what you believe on the inside.

Another example would be chronic financial problems. Some of us constantly overspend because we fear that if we leave something left over, we won’t manage it properly so it would be better to spend it all. Others overspend because we are afraid of when we will have money again so we’d better get what we can while we can. Another common reason for overspending is feeling like we’ve sacrificed and struggled enough so we “deserve to splurge” on ourselves. Or perhaps we are overwhelmed with debt and bills, but have created these situations due to a lack of inattention to our financial lives. We think that if we don’t address something, it’ll just take care of itself or we are so locked in fear, we don’t what to go through the discomfort of addressing these issues. In order to create change in these or any areas, we have to change our thinking. We have to become attentive to our financial obligations and overcome the fear of facing the results of negative decisions. We also have to embrace the belief system that there is an abundance in the Earth, more than enough for us to go around so we don’t have to be tied into a scarcity mentality.

Spend time in prayer and ask God to reveal limiting beliefs that you may have that are keeping you in a holding pattern in your life. Then go to work on changing them. The change you are looking for can only happen through reading new material, getting around new people and allowing yourself lots of room to grow over time. You have everything inside of you that you need to re-design your life. It just takes faith, patience and new information to get there.

Junice Rockman of Murfreesboro is a Certified Life Coach and Freelance Journalist. Follow her columns at www.jrockmotivates.com and send comments to jrockmotivates@gmail.com

No More Second Guessing

2011-11-13T13:42:00.000-08:00

Are you the kind of person who can give sound advice to a friend, colleague or even stranger that's in need but often questions the right direction to take for your own life? Do you find that you are able to give strength, comfort and encouragement to everyone freely accept for yourself?

If this sounds like you, it may be time to learn to trust, value and believe in yourself. One of the most disempowering things we can do to damage our own self-esteem is to constantly question ourselves — living our lives, going behind every decision wondering if it was the right one.

The more we doubt our choices, the harder it will become to make them confidently in the future.

I firmly believe in getting wise counsel from a multitude of well-established friends or confidants. Proverbs 11:14 talks about the surety we can have with many advisors. It is important that we have someone with good judgment we can bounce our ideas off of and get unbiased feedback. But that still cannot take the place of learning to trust our own gut instinct.

God has a unique plan for each of our lives that is as detailed and specific as our very DNA. With that plan, he also places an internal GPS to help direct our steps and choices along the way. The only way to get better at using that GPS is through practice.

Twentieth century author Earl Nightingale said: "The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment."

Trust that inner knowing and you will begin to have an immeasurable sense of peace and fulfillment.

Take some time to pray and search your heart for direction in your life. Proverbs 3:5 states that your steps will be ordered by God. Remember, "Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours." — unknown

What is it that you've been waiting to do because you simply lacked confidence? Sometimes the best way to learn as you go is to just let go and let the learning begin.

Be confident in your choices, surround yourself around people who will not only tolerate you but celebrate your dreams. Go confidently in the direction you believe God designed for your life and enjoy the process along the way.

Learn from past but don't be limited by it

2011-11-02T16:55:00.000-07:00

As you progress in your life's journey, you will have many victories, great memories and opportunities for growth, and you'll more than likely make some mistakes along the way as well.

You'll soon find you can't go back and change a decision once it's been made, nor can you take back a phrase once it's been said, and you certainly cannot delete an event after it's happened.

The good news is, although you cannot rewrite your beginning, there is always time to write a new ending.

Decide your legacy

The past is over, the present is here and the future is for us to create. I like to think of our lives as chapters in a book. Each page creates a new chapter, each chapter a new volume and, collectively, each volume creates the legacy you leave on the planet.

What impact would you like to make? How do you want to be remembered once you're gone, and how do you want to be thought of while you are still here?

You can begin to redesign your life and future one day at a time. It starts with prayer, a solid plan, a lot of faith and a good support system.

Take time to prayerfully consider major decisions in your life. Get feedback from others you know who are successful in the area in which you are looking to achieve. Plan your work and work your plan. Have faith in God that the dream he gave you and the vision he started in you will be completed in your life. That is where faith comes in.

Despite challenges, those who may doubt you or even in times that you doubt yourself, don't ever lose your faith. Change is a process, but as you rewrite the pages of your life, you will find great joy and fulfillment.

Don't minimize expectations

While experience is a good teacher, we don't want to allow our experiences to limit our expectation for our future. We need to keep moving forward and stay free from limitations in life.

Perhaps you're limiting yourself because of mistakes you've made or failures you've had. Or you could have limitations in your mindset, thinking you've already experienced all the good and great experiences life has to offer, not leaving room for new, exciting opportunities.

It doesn't matter where or how you start. It doesn't matter what your family has previously achieved, you can live a life without limits and raise your expectations.

Your life will rise to the occasion of your expectation.

Forgive yourself

Growing up, most of us heard the old adage, "forgive and forget." While it is essential to let go of past hurts and disappointments caused by others, it is equally important that we learn to forgive ourselves.

This means we let ourselves off the hook, let go of condemning, disempowering thoughts, grow wiser from mistakes and celebrate ourselves again. Don't spend your life beating yourself up for things you feel you've failed at. You'll only be holding yourself hostage to your own thinking.

Day by day, learn to love yourself more, learn to laugh again and live again.

2011-10-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

2011-09-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

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Don't hurry for life's blessings

2011-06-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

In our fast-paced, have it now, microwave, instant-gratification society, it can be easy to want a drive-through blessing to show up on the spot.

And, while there are some things that will seemingly come to us quickly, in life, most phases, seasons and promotions take some time. It's a law of progression — step by step, brick by brick, laying the foundation for your life success.

Think of it this way. If you want to get to the top of a staircase in a building, you have to take steps. If you're going on a road trip or a flight, it takes gradual progress to get there. There are so many analogies. In cooking there are steps. In the process of having children, there are steps. Steps are just a part of life's seasons.

The sooner we embrace this and work to begin finding the beauty in each day, we can actually enjoy the moment instead of always looking over our shoulder hoping for tomorrow.

Once we've prayerfully considered our goals, taken them to God and then created a plan to accomplish them, it's time to enjoy the journey there. You don't want to look back on your life with few memories to enjoy because you were always so focused on hurrying to the next blessing or big thing.

At all costs, avoid comparing your life to someone else's and certainly avoid trying to live your life based on someone else's dream for you. Define your values, goals and dreams and embrace them confidently.

Each person has his own unique journey, destination and contribution to the world. So embrace yours and celebrate the journey and blessings of those around you. Everything in God's creation is unique and purposeful — that includes you!

Share these principles with your spouse, your children, neighbor and co-workers. You will find you enjoy both the little and big moments life brings your way.

2011-02-23T10:25:00.000-08:00

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2011-02-08T19:31:00.000-08:00

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2011-01-13T05:10:00.000-08:00

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2010-08-16T09:51:00.001-07:00

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2009-12-06T06:03:00.001-08:00

Make today the best day of your LIFE!

2009-08-29T04:20:00.000-07:00

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2009-08-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like throwing in the towel, saying "what's the use in striving toward my dreams" and just giving in? Well today is your day to get just the boost of confidence you needed to keep forging ahead.

I have a new slogan my husband, Rock, and I have been using lately: "Champions never quit, never give in and always win."

Webster's Dictionary definition of the word "champion" is, "One that wins first place or first prize in a competition. One that is clearly superior or has the attributes of a winner; an ardent defender or supporter of a cause or another; one who fights or defends; a warrior."

In life we must fight for what we believe in. Whether that means fighting to have a quality prayer life, a good marriage or time with your children, we have to persevere and obtain those things we know are rightfully ours. God's word says he not only came to give us life, but wants us to have life more abundantly (John 10:10). That means we have the right to access a lavish, full, fruitful, prosperous and joyous life on this Earth.

There will be times when we have to fight to walk in this good life.

Sometimes we are fighting for our financial status, doing all we can to say out of debt and to save up a sizable nest egg.

Sometimes we may have to fight to maintain our friendships and relationships. It's not always about being right, but about doing right for the long-term good.

If you've been feeling worn down, take a moment to rest and regroup. Take a long walk, talk to a good friend, read a good book or drive through a neighborhood that inspires you. Whatever you do — just don't quit.

The race isn't given to the strong or to the swift, but to he that endures (Ecclesiastes 9:11). It's not about where we start, but where we are going and where we end up.

By all means, don't defer your happiness to a certain event or status in your life. "Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers." — 1 John 1:2, New American Standard Bible.

Enjoy your life right where you are today. Enjoy the journey, and as always, make today the very best day of your life!

2009-07-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Back 2 School

For many of us it seems like school just let out and the summer really got into full swing. But can you believe some kids have already started the annual routine of going to bed early, packing up their lunches and book bags and heading back to school?

Here are some quick tips to help get you kids school year off to a great start!

As a way to celebrate your children going on to the next grade in their school career, schedule a back to school breakfast at their favorite restaurant. You’ll have to sacrifice and get your day going earlier than usual but it will be something they’ll always remember.

This also gives them something special to look forward to. If you can, try to have the breakfast on the first day or during the first week of their return to school.

While this may seem to be a very obvious and simple suggestion, you might be surprised to know how many parents struggle with getting their children to school on a regular basis. If you’re trying to break the habit of chronically running late, here are a couple of things to consider.

Children typically don’t do what you say, they repeat what you do. So if you’re setting the example of always running late and getting them to school or other events “just in the nick of time” - they will more than likely repeat this negative habit in the adult lives. In addition, when we bring our children into an event late, it automatically starts their day out with feelings of condemnation, stress and worry. Their worried about what their teacher and other students think, they have to explain why they were late and will probably be reprimanded.

Getting them to school 15 minutes early allows them to take some time in their morning to pace themselves and get their day off to a nice solid and calm start!

Make sure you take time every night and every morning to speak a special blessing over your children. Let them know how much you love them and God loves them. Tell them they can do anything they set their mind to with God’s help and that they are beautiful or handsome, strong, smart and full of courage. Declare that they have favor with their teachers and other students and that they are well liked and succeed wherever they go.

Receiving this kind of affirmation from a parent at an early age sets the course of confidence for their day and for the rest of their lives. It only takes a couple of minutes and helps develop characteristics that will last a lifetime.

2009-07-17T05:01:00.000-07:00

Changes can make life better

You don't have to defer your happiness in life waiting on one single event to "make everything perfect." Here are a few common concerns people have about their lives and suggestions to maximize your current situation:

1. I feel stuck in my job.

If you feel like your job is leading you down a dead-end path, you are not alone. Recent studies show that 6 out of 10 people are unhappy with their current jobs. What are you passionate about?

Have you been dreaming of writing that book, launching an invention or opening a store? You can set small goals for yourself and begin your own business on a part-time basis. You might say, "I just don't have the time to work my business full time." That's OK — working it part-time is better than no time at all. Dedicate a couple of hours a day toward your goal. Also consider starting online which will keep your overhead low and give you the flexibility to work from home at varying hours.

If you want to go into a different professional field all together, research the cost to get advanced training or a degree part time or online. It may feel like a slow process, but if you start now, you will finish and have the skills to move into a new field.

2. I need a vacation, but can't afford it.

When it comes to money and time, we do what we deem to be top priority. If it's been years since you've been on vacation, maybe it's time to raise yourself up on the priority list.

You don't have to wait for the perfect moment, when all the stars and your finances line up to enjoy a vacation with your spouse or family.

Try setting aside a percentage of your income every month to go toward your vacation fund. Maybe you won't go to Paris or Cancun right away, but you can start with a local resort by the lake in your area. '

Or you can become a tourist in your own city. Make a hotel reservation downtown, schedule dinner, a play, trip to the spa or a shopping excursions. Just one night away from your regular routine will do wonders for your peace of mind and add zest to your life.

3. I want to move into a new home

Of course, it's easy to go out this week and start looking at new nicer homes. But maybe the money's just not there yet. Here are a few simple, less expensive alternatives to upgrade your current living space:

- Freshen your rooms up with new paint.

- Get your carpets cleaned.

- Purchase new bedding, linen, towels and window treatments.

- Rearrange the furniture and décor in your house and eliminate clutter.

As always, make today the best day of your life!

Don't fear the outside of the box

2009-07-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

Maybe you've lived in the same area your entire life, had the same friends, gone to the same places and you're feeling a little trapped.

If you feel like you're stuck in a box, in a rut, doing the same thing day in, day out, and desperately need a change — be encouraged!

The change you need is already on the inside of you.

God created each and every person on the planet with the inherent gifts, talents and wisdom needed to navigate through every part of their lives.

You just have to dig deep to stir up that fire and the gifts of God already in you. Spend time in prayer, reading God's word and begin to tap into new areas of your creativity.

Make a decision and an effort to get fired up about life, love and your purpose again. Don't stay in a place of indifference.

Be selective

If you find you feel a bit discouraged after you share your dreams with certain individuals, you need to remember everyone may not understand or see your long-term vision.

So be selective about whom you share your dreams with. Make sure you share your vision with people who will be your biggest cheerleaders and supporters.

There are many people who will rally behind you, but unfortunately there are some dream assassins out there, people who will quickly take what you believe and shoot it down.

So protect your hopes and your heart and connect with others who propel you into your destiny. As you change for the better and break the status quo within your circle of friends, remember everyone may not support or understand you. But keep moving forward because great visionaries always see outside of the box.

Avoid perfection paralysis

Don't wait for the perfect moment to feel you have the right amount of time and money to begin working your dreams. Start now. Start small.

Even start out scared if you have to, but just get those wheels turning.

A lot of people feel like they have to wait until they have full confidence and feel fearless before they begin pursuing their dream. But what they may not realize is many of us pursue our purpose despite the fear.

If we wait until there's no sense of nervousness, we may never get started. Take a few small steps every week toward achieving your goals. Eventually you'll look back and realize each of those small steps created one great leap of faith in your life.

2009-06-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart?

People with resilience seem to be able to quickly harness inner strengths and quickly rebound from setbacks. Whether its sickness, divorce, job loss or death, resilient people realize they will either sink or swim when challenges come their way.

On the other hand, those who are less resilient tend to feel like victims of their circumstances, dwell on issues and become easily overwhelmed. They may feel their only refuge is in coping mechanisms such as overeating, drugs, alcohol or seclusion. Challenges are an inevitable ,and having the ability to bounce back certainly won't make problems go away. But having the right attitude will give you the insight to see past them. Find a way to avoid being overtaken by the currents of life. Instead learn to ride the waves.

This doesn't mean you should become emotionally distant or cold. Nor does it mean you always respond to adversity with ease and grace. You don't have to be in denial either. But you can still admit to challenges in your life and then, go into solution mode.

Whatever you do, just don't dwell on the problem. It's not always about what you go through, but how you choose to react and the fact that you must decide to come out on the other side. Learning how to bounce back is also a great example for your family. This will teach them out to avoid common pitfalls like depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.

Here are common characteristics of resilient people. See if you can see some of these traits in your own character. Remember performing well under pressure is a life skill that takes time to develop. So if you aren't where you want to be, just keep working at it and if you don't give up. You'll get there.

Characteristics

- Ability to easily to adapt to change.

- Having a general feeling of control of your life.

- I tend to bounce back after a hardship or illness.

- Regularly developing solid relationships with friends and family.

- Holding the belief that you never give up even in seemingly hopeless situations.

- Ability to think clearly and logically under pressure.

- Finding humor in stressful situations.

- Having a self-image of confidence and strength.

- I like challenges and feel comfortable taking the lead.

Many people are going through tough times right now all across the globe. But you can choose to allow the joy of the Lord to be your strength. Learn to be a victor over life's trials and not a victim. And by all means, enjoy the process as you grow and learn to bounce back.

Be the very best dad you can be

2009-06-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

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Dad's day is here this weekend and families all across the country are making plans to honor their dads, grandfather, uncles and brothers. Here are a few tips to be the very best dad you can be.

Discipline with love

Fathers can still effectively discipline their children with a calm, yet stern, tone without yelling and screaming. You should never speak down to your children, saying things like "you are so stupid" or "you get on my nerves." The old saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" couldn't be further from the truth.

The words you speak over your children will have a lasting impression for years to come. It may seem like a simple concept, but you'd be surprised how many adults I've counseled because of things their parents said to them decades ago.

Also avoid giving "the cold shoulder." If you need time to yourself, go away to fish, read or sit quietly so when you are with your children, you are fully present and give them your best.

Commit to dinner time

With long work days and varying kids' activity schedules, sitting down to have dinner together as a family almost seems to be a thing of the past. But even if you can't have dinner together every night, at least commit to dinner together a few times a week at the same time. This is a great time to go around the table and ask what the highlights of the day were and see if anyone has concerns. Make sure you set the example by initiating this time together. It's also a good time to listen and give advice.

Take time to read

If you still have young children, make sure you start reading to them early on. This is a great way to end your night, learn something new and have quiet time together. This is a nice way to step away from the world of electronics and TV and really develop their cognitive skills. If they always see you reading instead of watching TV, they will likely develop the same habit and carry it with them for the rest of their life.

Father's job never done

Often times dads give their toddler and preteen children more attention and then feel like they don't know how to relate to them as they get older. This is especially true for girls.

But remember your children still need you in their teen years and beyond. This is when talk time and making sure they feel loved and validated are the most critical.

There are so many things pulling at them in school and in the media. You want to always be the consistent voice affirming their value, talent and identity. Find something positive to compliment them on every day.

Take hold of chances in your life

2009-06-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

Have you recently been offered a new position in your career, the chance to go back to school to finish your degree, or maybe a business opportunity? There are moments and seasons that come into each of our lives that are "once in a lifetime."

If you wait too long to think about whether or not you should take a chance and try something new, you may let the opportunity slip right through your hands. Ideally, we want to all live with little or no regrets. As we look back over the years, nobody wants to feel we made a series of bad choices or missed out on something big. In order to avoid those regrets, we have to seize every precious and spectacular moment in life that comes our way.

Here are a few tips to help you seize the moment:

1. Don't fight to create your path, pray to find your destiny.

It's often been said you can figure out your life's purpose by identifying what moves you to laughter or moves you to tears.

What is it that stirs you up? Are you passionate about writing, medicine, politics, raising a family, or finance? What is it that you could do all day whether you were paid to or not and love it?

These are questions you want to ask yourself to help identify your purpose.

You don't have to try to force yourself into the right place or the right crowd. Begin to pray and earnestly seek God's direction to get on course with the path predestined for you to follow.

2. Don't do the same thing every day.

Get out, network, meet new people and put yourself in the position for new opportunities to come your way. If you go to the same places and do the same exact things 365 days a year, how can you expect something new to come your way?

Apart of seizing the moment includes following God's leading so you are in the right place at the right time for God's favor to show up in your life. Success happens when preparation meets opportunity. Prepare yourself now for what you are dreaming to do. So when the door of opportunity shows up, you can walk right through it.

3. Recognize when something good has come your way.

Opportunities may come in the form of a simple suggestion from a friend or relative.

Practice the art of listening when new ideas or opportunities are presented to you — not just listening with your ears, but also listen with your heart. Don't just overlook suggestions or that "gut" feeling you get about something, or you could be missing out on something that would change your life in a great way.

Internships can make big impact

2009-05-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Summer break is finally here and kids all across the country are looking forward to staying up later, sleeping in and having a break from the daily school routine. This week and next week we'll discuss ideas to make your child's summer break more meaningful and memorable.

Exposure vital

You really want to begin exposing your kids to a variety of career options for their future when they are as early as 10 or 11 years old. And not just through conversation and research, but through hands-on experience.

Find out which career fields interest your child. If they are still too young to work during the summer, you can call to set up a tour at a hospital, television station, real estate office, college or whichever field they might want to pursue. Also ask if there would be any opportunities for them to help out for a few hours during the summer so they can see what actually goes on in the workplace.

Internships can be easy to arrange by making a few phone calls. Law offices, doctor's offices and other businesses are often open to having an intern if your child demonstrates initiative, commitment and a good work ethic. Some internships pay a small hourly amount, while many are for high school or college credit only. This type of experience will be a great resume builder and children gain more from working in an environment where they are intellectually and socially challenged.

Experience key

Whatever the case, these experiences will help your child understand the day-to-day work that goes into each career field — beyond just the glamour and salary. This experience is invaluable in helping them narrow their field of study.

For example, your child may desire a career as a TV reporter, but may realize through the hands-on experience the research and writing that goes into the job isn't appealing. Or a child interested in being an architect may enjoy drawing, but may also find there is a need to develop his math skills to do well.

Plan now

So get started planning out summer work plans with your children today. The exposure could be a life-changing experience.

Be open to healing in relationship

2009-05-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

This month, in honor of Mother's Day, we talked about healing relationships between mothers and children. There was such a great response to that column, I felt it necessary to further explore this issue.

Father's Day is just around the corner in June, and there are so many out there who need to mend broken relationships with the mothers and their fathers as well.

How do we begin this process?

I often say in communication and life, we must first seek to understand and not just to be understood.

Parents are people, too

When we are first born, I think God gives us all this great ability to believe our parents can do anything. Ideally, they really should be our first representation of God on the Earth. We should be able to depend on them, learn from them and ideally aspire to be a lot like them.

But what if we could rarely rely on mom or dad to follow through on their promises? Or if we saw arguing, depression, anger and hopelessness in them as our example? How can we learn to love, forgive and have a strong relationship with our parents?

It starts with first understanding they're people too.

They started out just like we did, as babies, influenced by their environment and life's circumstances.

Moms and dads have hurts, disappointments and concerns just like us. If you've been hurt by your mom or dad, don't walk in bitterness and try to return a wrong.

Be understanding. I Peter 3:8 tells us to "be of one mind, having compassion for one another... being tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil, but on the contrary blessing knowing that you were called to this."

As their children, we often only see them in the role of a parent. But they had an identity as individuals far before you came along. Think about the way they were raised, the things they went through that shaped the person they eventually became. The relationship they had with their parents also plays a major role in the kind of parenting style they used with you.

Ideally, each generation should go a step beyond the one before them. I hope your parents were able to do more and be more for you than your grand- and great-grandparents did for them. Now you have the responsibility to work to take that a step further for your children.

Talk to your mom or dad about the changes you'd like to see them make and pray for their ability to change. No matter what we've been through in life, we all still have the ability to change who we are. But that is a matter of decision.

If they're not willing to make those changes, move forward and make a personal decision that you will be quick to change, grow and reshape yourself when you receive constructive criticism from those closest to you.

J-Rock Motivates TV

2009-01-28T21:51:00.001-08:00

2009-01-12T09:40:00.000-08:00

Victory In Life Is Available But Not Automatic

We’ve all heard the old adage, “the best things in life are free”. There is some truth to that statement. However, many of the things that are worth having in life require good old fashioned hard work. The Webster’s dictionary defines Victory as “achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties”.

Victory in our lives is available but not necessarily automatic. Obtaining a good marriage, a successful family or career all takes work. All of these things are available but will take implementing systems, tools and hard work. Let’s explore the journey of two American’s that rose out of poverty and despair through faith and hard work.

George Washington Carver – Scientist & Inventor

George Washington Carver was born with incredible odds stacked against him. His father died in an accident just before his birth. After being born into slavery, he and his mother were kidnapped. He was returned, but his mother was never found. Through persistence, faith and determination he became a world renowned scientist and inventor.

Carver found over 300 uses for the peanut. He also invented other things that we wouldn’t imagine living without. Some of them include shoe polish, bleach, instant coffee and shaving cream.

Andrew Carnegie – Entrepreneur & Philanthropist

Andrew Carnegie was born in the mid 1800’s to a very poor family and got his first job at 13, working in a textile mill, for only $1.25 a week. Slowly he worked his way up to $35 per week at Railroad Company where he learned about the steel industry and stock market. He took what he learned there and became a successful investor.

After his father died when Carnegie was only 20, he became the sole provider for his mother and siblings. It was at that time that his mother taught him how to fend for himself and work hard through life’s toughest challenges.

When he retired, he was the richest man in the world and gave away over $350 which would be equivalent to $3 billion. Overtime, keeping himself encouraged and surrounded by people that he could learn from, Carnegie applied what he learned. He achieved victory in his life from poverty to financial prosperity.

Born into life with great challenges, both Carver & Carnegie persevered to become people that helped reshape our world for the better. What can you do today to make an impact and have victory in your life?

One day at a time, one success at a time, no matter where you start, you can have a victorious life! It isn’t automatic, but victory is available to you at any moment. You can begin creating the life you dream of and obtain it!

Make today the best day of your life!

Tips To Keep Your Joy - Conclusion

2008-12-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

In our conclusion to this series on keeping your joy we're discussing tip #6 & #7, the importance of forgiveness and maintaining a positive self image. Both are closely tied to the amount of joy and fulfillment that you have in your life.

#6 Don't Hold Grudges

Be willing to let go of old hurts, bitterness or unforgiveness toward anyone in your life. Holding on to negative emotions becomes emotionally and physically toxic overtime. Sometimes we feel that holding on to bitterness gives proof that what was said or done to us was wrong. Or many people felt that they were punishing the person that hurt them by remaining bitter toward them. However, the person that ends up hurting the most is the one that refuses to forgive and move on. Don't allow yourself to be held "hostage" in your past. Learn to let go, to trust again, to love again and to live again. Be sure that you focus on changing yourself instead of waiting for the other person to change. And don't set unrealistic expectations for others so you don't continue to set yourself up for disappointment. Always expect the best and believe the best about others, but be willing to be flexible and forgiving if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Practice forgiveness on a daily basis. You will find that you enjoy your life and maintain your joy as never before.

#7 Pay Attention To Your Self Talk

Pay attention to the kinds of thoughts and feelings that you have about yourself during the day. Are you thinking positive, self affirming thoughts? Examples of self defeating thoughts are statements like, "I may never make it in life", "I should give up", "I'm not all that smart or talented", "nothing good ever happens for me". Really take time to examine what you are saying about yourself in your quiet time. You may be surprised that there are adjustments that need to be made. If you are going to gain and keep joy in your life. You will have to have a good self image. If your self image needs improving there are many ways you can accomplish this. Spend time in prayer and finding out what the Bible has to say about who you are and what you can achieve. Also take some time at the beginning of each day to make statements of faith about your life and what you are believing for. Everyday you should get up and declare that "this will be the best day of my life and that something good is going to happen today." As you do this you will begin reprogramming your "self talk" and creating new positive thought patterns.

Make today the best day of your life!

Junice LaGreen-Rockman of Murfreesboro, TN writes about spiritual and
motivational issues. Follow her column every Friday in the DNJ and
check out her blog at http://jrockmotivates.blogspot.com/ Email:jrockmotivates@gmail.com

Tips To Keep Joy In Your Life – Pt II

2008-12-29T08:57:00.000-08:00

In last weeks column we discussed tips #1 – 3 on maintaining joy in your life. Let’s take a look the impact investing in your friendships and yourself will have on increasing the joy in your life:

#4 Maintain Your Friendships

Actively work to maintain your friendships and realize that it will take effort on your part. I once heard someone say, “People should develop their friendships in life now, because on your 60th Birthday, you don’t want to realize that you have no one to invite to your celebration”. This statement may sound somewhat sarcastic but it is so true. If you don’t make cultivating friendships in your life a priority and don’t actively work at maintaining them, they will fade over time. It is equally important to develop new friendships as well as cherishing the old. Having friends in your life can help provide a balanced life that isn’t all work and “no play”. Good friends will help you see your strengths, cheer you on as you pursue your dreams and also challenge you in areas that you need to change. One man shouldn’t be an island to himself. Don’t wait until the holiday season or for major life events to occur to stay in touch. Get out today, reconnect with friends and let them know how much you care! Your joy will be rejuvenated by taking a little time to share a quick conversation, dinner or a cup of coffee with a cherished friend.

#5 Exercise & Eat Healthy

You must invest in yourself! It’s sad to say but many of us are more concerned about what we put in or on our cars than we are for our very own bodies! Take some time to get outdoors, get some fresh air and exercise. Enjoy the sunshine even in the colder months - get out and get active. Regular exercise will increase your circulation, strengthen your immune system and add longevity to your life. But it will also improve your mental and emotional state. If you aren’t already regularly exercising, don’t put pressure on yourself to work out everyday. Gradually build a routine maybe just starting with 15 – 20 minuets a couple of times per week. Also consider increasing your daily water intake to 8 – 10 glasses per day to flush out your system. Avoid fast foods and take a little bit of preparation time to pack healthy snacks or lunches to take with you to work. Some suggestions of great energy foods to pack are – fresh fruits, vegetables, granola, peanuts, almonds, soups or salads. Try to refrain from having dessert with every meal and maybe limit it to the weekends. You’ll feel so much better from the inside out. When you invest time in yourself, your outer and inner image will improve. Improving the way you look and feel will undoubtedly increase your personal joy!

Next week we will conclude our discussion on maintaining your joy with tip #6 – Don’t Hold Grudges & #7 – Pay Close Attention to Your “Self Talk”!

As always, make today the best day of your life!

7 Ways To Keep Your Joy

2008-12-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

1. Love Yourself

This is something that we've all heard at one time or another and most
of us know we are supposed to love ourselves. However, for some, this
may be easier said than done. Many studies show that our
personalities are fully defined by the age of 5. At an early age we
are shaped by the negative or positive messages that we receive from
our teachers, school mates, family members. There's an old adage that
says, "you are your own worst critic". If you find that you are
always being highly critical of yourself and just never feel that you
measure up, you must begin working to truly love yourself. A
suggestion is to write a list of 30 of your good characteristics and
each day for an entire month, when you wake up, say aloud, "I am
grateful that I am a generous person, a good friend to others, a good
dad, a beautiful person, that I have my health, etc." Also remember
how much you are loved by God. You were created in His image. Say to
yourself, "If God can love me, I can love me!"

2. Don't Have Unrealistic Expectations of Others

Realize that there are no perfect people on the planet and if you give
it some thought, you realize that you are not perfect yourself! So
give others in your life a break. Don't set unrealistic expectations
for others to fulfill or you will continually be disappointed. You
shouldn't depend on anyone else for your joy, your strength or to
answer every problem in your life. Begin to draw on that joy, strength
and wisdom from God and from within yourself. You will find that you
are much happier and more fulfilled. It will also help others feel
more at ease around you because they don't feel that you are putting
unfair pressure on them.

3. Live In the Moment

Do you find yourself always looking forward to the next big phase in
your life and not enjoying where you currently are? While goal setting
is important and striving toward reaching them is essential, you must
also enjoy the ride along the way! Find little moments in your life
everyday to celebrate and enjoy. Don't put off your happiness until
that next job comes, the next customer for your business or until
you've moved into your dream home. Don't wait for perfection in your
marriage, your children your friendships. Be determined to seek out
the good and celebrate it as you ENJOY the journey to fulfilling your
dreams.

Stay tuned for steps 4-5 next week and as always, make today the best
day of your life!

Junice LaGreen-Rockman of Murfreesboro, TN writes about spiritual and
motivational issues. Follow her column every Friday in the DNJ and
check out her blog at http://jrockmotivates.blogspot.com/ Email:
jrockmotivates@gmail.com
--
Junice Rockman
Motivational Writer & Speaker
Subscribe to my blog at: http://jrockmotivates.blogspot.com/

Many opt to save this Christmas

2008-12-25T22:45:00.000-08:00

Many families are feeling a financial crunch this season and opting to save money instead of going all out on Christmas spending this year.

If you decide to cut back and save cash this year, be sure to reduce not only your spending but also actually put aside extra money from what you would have previously spent.

For example, if you would usually spend $1,500 on Christmas, decide to spend $750 and put the other $750 into an interest-bearing account. Also keep in mind that not everyone is suffering financially. If you are one who isn't experiencing struggle, you can still take this year to cut back on holiday spending and use some of the extra money for savings and to donate to local charities or families in need.

Here are a few ideas to help you save this holiday.

1. Make a shopping list and stick to your budget.

Make a list of those you plan to shop for as far in advance as possible. Do your very best to stick to shopping for only those on the list. You may receive a few unexpected gifts from friends or co-workers. So set aside a predetermined amount of cash to purchase things for those you received gifts from unexpectedly that you want to give back to. You may only want to set aside $25 to $75 for this. You can find men's or women's gifts on sale for $5 to 10 each at stores like Ross, Wal-Mart or Walgreens. Also consider giving $5 gift cards to places like Starbuck's or Subway. Just $5 cards to stores like these will pay for a cappuccino or a sub lunch for a friend.
Once you've reached your budgeted spending amount, leave the stores right away! This way you won't be tempted to buy one more item. Only purchase what you can pay for now. It just doesn't make sense to get into debt to buy a gift now that you will still be paying for months after Christmas.

2. Do a gift exchange.

If you have a larger family or group of friends, doing a gift exchange will save money, time and the potential stress of trying to find the perfect gift. If you still have time, this weekend set up a secret Santa list via e-mail and decide to exchange gifts on Christmas or before. You can also agree to only buying gifts that are a certain amount. This will eliminate feeling pressure to buy a gift of a certain amount or being concerned you aren't spending enough.

3. Create coupons that offer your time or service.

This is something fun for families to do for each other. You can give a coupon/gift card that can be exchanged for your time for things like housekeeping, organizing, a car wash, running errands for dry cleaning or baby-sitting. These are all valuable services that will save time and money for the person you are giving to.

Make today the best day of your life!

Learn to Let Go of Past Hurts - Part I & II

2008-02-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well, it's something that we've all experienced at one time or another, some of us more than others. Hurt, disappointment, rejection, loss and pain. In fact, some of us have experienced such enormous pain that we've felt as though we were paralyzed and defined by a major painful experience.

However, I want you to know that you can heal! You can learn to live again, to love again and to move forward in your life with joy.

Here are a few signs that you may need to let go of hurt in your life along with practical steps to move forward:

1. Frequently Referring To Or Thinking About Painful Experiences

Okay, let's face it, our minds are like little tape records, forever recording all of the good and bad that happens around us. Think about it, isn't it amazing how hearing a certain song, smelling a particular fragrance or tasting a specific food can take our minds instantly back to a time in our lives history. Haven't you ever been out with friends, when someone tasted a particular dessert and exclaimed, "This reminds me of something we used to eat after dinner growing up !" We can instantaneously rewind or fast forward to memories in our lives and we even have the ability to put those reflections on replay!

However there is good news! We do own the remote control to the automatic "DVD Player" of our memories! Remember, the brain is a muscle and with practice, any muscle in our bodies will grow stronger.

That's just the way we were created. This is why two people who grew up in the same home can both have the same negative set of circumstances, yet one will triumph over them and the other, will become completely defeated by them. It is the power of our will and the power of our minds that we must learn to harness in order to let go of hurt and live a life of victory!

There is a scripture in the Bible in Proverbs 23:7 that simply states, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” As we think, so we are.

The life that we lead is determined overtime by our prevailing thoughts and words. Not what others think, not what we should think, but what we actually think about ourselves. That is what we become.

If you find that you go throughout your day and frequently recall hurtful times in your life, don't feel badly, this is very common. But you should know that you don't have to continue replaying these hurts in your mind.

Just think about it, every time you recall negative experiences, you are re-living the stress and emotional discomfort. In fact, if you're not careful, those emotions become so real and powerful that you will begin to feel like it's happening all over again.

The next time you begin to replay negative memories in your mind, say out loud, "I make a decision to move forward in my life. I forgive those that have hurt me in the past and this is a new day. I choose to focus on and experience peace, joy, hope and healing in my heart and my mind. Today this will be the best day of my life!"

Watch and see, the more you practice this, the easier it will be to let go of hurts from your past and focus on the good that is presently around you.

As you are renewing your mind and your positive memories, you may want to keep a calendar or journal for one month to chart your progress. Make a goal to have an entire day free from sadness and reflection of past hurts. Once you've accomplished that, work on 2 full days, then one full week!

You can do it! Just visualize yourself succeeding in overcoming hurt. Visualize yourself becoming emotionally consistent and free. Replace that those negative memories with a happy times that brought you joy. Use the gift of memory for good, not to replay hurt and pain.

Be patient with yourself in this process and remember it is a process. Although moving forward from hurt may not happen overnight, it is well worth the journey. As you let go of painful memories, your joy and optimism will be renewed.

2. Putting Up Walls of Distance To Avoid Future Pain

If you notice you are beginning to distance yourself from friends and family members, reluctant to open your feelings to those closest to you or if you stop socializing all together, chances are you have hurt in your life that you need to let go of. Somewhere in our natural instincts, we automatically resort to "fight or flight" when we feel as though we are being threatened.

In other words, we feel the need to either retaliate to defend ourselves or quickly flee to protect ourselves from being hurt. The "fight or flight" response theory was first introduced by Walter Cannon in 1915. Cannon was a physiologist studying animals and other living organism’s responses to threats to the security in their environment. In later years, this theory became widely accepted by psychologist who found the same basic responses when studying human behaviors.

So be honest with yourself and ask, "Am I starting to distance myself from others to protect my own feelings?" If you find that you are beginning to put up walls of distance in your relationships, first identify what you are afraid of. Next think about the wonderful friendships, activities and memories you are missing out on because of fear of being hurt or rejected. Finally, recognize that you need to set realistic expectations for those in your life. Avoid expecting those around you to "be perfect" and do everything the way that you see fit. Realize that God made us all unique and diverse for a reason. If we were all the same, if everyone was just like you, what fun would life be?

Begin to practice thinking the very best of yourself and those around you. Make a decision to believe that people think good of you and want the very best for you. Avoid being suspicious and distrustful of others because you will begin to attract whatever you believe.

Ask yourself what can I learn from my relationships with others? How can I become more patient, more tolerant, more forgiving, more accepting of others? Allow those around you to bring out your best qualities. Every relationship should be a learning experience that can only make you stronger.

Allow people to make mistakes and know that this shouldn't diminish their value in your life. If a friend or relative has disappointed you, let it go. Accept and love them as they are. We must all practice the art of "letting go". Remember if we are too busy holding on to hurts, we don't allow room in our hearts for all of the good that God has in store for us in our future.

Look for part II and the conclusion of "Learn to Let Go of Past Hurts" in my next Blog to find out the other 3 signs that you may need to let go of hurt. We’ll explore more practical steps to help in moving forward and discuss the effects of holding grudges, overcoming frequent mood swings and other related topics.

Please make comments on this article and subscribe to my blog.

And as always, make a decision to make today the best day of your life!

Learn to Let Go of Past Hurts – Part II

It is with great anticipation that I write the two part conclusion of the article, "Learn to Let Go of Past Hurts"! In the part 1 we discussed 2 ways that you can recognize the need to let go of hurt in your life. The first was if you find yourself frequently referring to or thinking about painful experiences. The 2nd identifying factor was putting up "walls" of distance in your relationships to avoid future pain. Practical solutions were provided to help change these areas. I also discussed specific exercises you can do to improve your emotions and heal.

There are 2 more items that need to be explored as we bring this topic to a close.

1. You Can Only Heal What You Are Willing To Acknowledge

In order to begin the healing process, we must be willing to acknowledge areas in our lives where there are seeds of bitterness, envy, depression and pain. It is simply impossible to bring light to darkness until the areas of darkness are exposed. No matter how painful it may seem, remember, you are not helping yourself by denying that hurt exist in your heart. Some find it helpful to sit down and write the specific areas of pain they are experiencing in a journal. When doing this, remember to think about what the root causes of that pain are. For example, if a person has low self esteem and thinks negative thoughts about his or her current life, future and self image.

A good exercise would be writing these feelings in a journal and then exploring what first caused these negative thinking patterns. As you are writing, you may identify that a parent frequently criticized you growing up and that you may have lived in a verbally or physically abusive home. On the other hand, another individual might say, I had a pretty good childhood, but I am still frequently depressed and have a negative outlook on life.

The root cause for this could be the fact you didn't receive any positive verbal feedback growing up. Although you may not have been criticized, the void of affirmation may have caused you to wonder your worth. Often, if children are not affirmed, they draw their own conclusions and feel as though they must have been lacking the right characteristics to receive compliments from their parents.

As you embark upon this journey of emotional healing, acknowledge the root causes of your pain, pray for strength and courage to become totally healed and be willing to share your story with others. As you share your story, you will find peace and fulfillment in seeing others helped out of the same situations that you once were challenged with. Acknowledge, explore and heal!

2. Upgrade Your Lifestyle – Food Affects Your Mood

We live in the age of “upgrades”. We upgrade our cars, our homes, our jewelry, even our appearance through cosmetic procedures such as liposuction, botox and many others. So how about upgrading the quality of our lives! A recent report on the CBS morning program, The Early Show found that certain foods can actually leave you feeling fatigued and depressed, while other’s jumpstart your energy and optimism.

If you find that you experience frequent mood swings, once you have started the journey of emotional and spiritual healing, bring healing physically by changing your diet and exercise routine! Samantha Heller, a dietician and clinical nutritionist at New York University Medical Center, states that research proves that food has a definite impact on your mood. “Bodies are like chemistry sets, she says.

Everything you put in your body has a chemical effect, which is why food can affect your mood. It gets broken down into elements that can raise your blood sugar or drop it rapidly. Eating a piece of cake can literally make you sad, while eating a carrot can have exactly the opposite effect and make you happy.” Below you will find a list of mood supporters as well as foods you should avoid:

Mood Supporters
Vegetables
Fruit
Fish
Nuts
Beans
Non-fat dairy products
Egg whites
Whole grains

Bad Foods
Caffeine

Alcohol
Sugar
White flour
Diet Drinks/Foods that contain the artificial sweetener, aspartame

Also consider incorporating some physical activity into your weekly routine. Many people find that walking regularly increases their optimism and self confidence. Find a nice trail to hike or just take a 30 min. stroll through your neighborhood. The results will be invaluable to your quality of life.

Most importantly, of all of the tips and exercises that we reviewed to learn to let go of past hurts, remember that no matter what you’ve experienced in life, no matter how badly you’ve hurt, there is hope and there is healing available! You can change your emotional future.

Thank you for reading. As always, make a decision to make today, the best day of your life!

Six Ways To Give Your Relationship a Tune-Up

2008-02-01T22:34:00.000-08:00

With Valentine's Day approaching, this is a wonderful time to assess the strengths and weakness in your relationship. We've all been taught to get regular maintenance checkups on our cars, our homes and even for our health, but many of us don't realize our relationships need regular tune-ups as well.

Successful relationships take not only commitment but practice, patience and time. After your wedding day, your marriage simply can't be put on autopilot and expected to succeed.

Here are six tips to tune up your relationship:

1. Grow together, not apart

This is particularly important for couples who have been married for longer periods of time. It is essential to understand that over time, you will both grow and change. You must accept that your spouse is not going to be exactly the same as she was when you married her years ago.

Conflict and miscommunication commonly arise because we are using the same worn-out tools to work on the engine of our relationship, without realizing we need new tools for our newer model.

For example, let's say you notice your wife is experiencing stress over financial obligations. You may try to console her with gentle, reassuring words as you try to ease her concerns. However, if you find kind words and support don't seem to help, you may need to consider another approach. In the earlier days of your marriage, reassuring words may have eased away her stresses. However, as she's matured, she may need something different to bring her peace of mind. Several studies published from the Marriage Research Institute have found that as women mature, their need for financial security and stability becomes one of the most important factors in their relationships. Now you may need to create an action plan for saving, investing and paying debt to help ease her fears. Many couples find that it is helpful to go over their financial goals and accomplishments on a weekly basis so both the husband and wife can see that progress is being made.

As your emotional needs, hobbies, interest and values evolve, make a commitment to grow and change as a team. Be willing to accept the changes that take place in your spouse as long as you see they are growing in a positive direction. Without change, there can be no growth. Allow your spouse to evolve and commit to growing closer together in the process.

2. Commit to a date night

If your schedule permits, schedule a regular date night.

Some ideas for dates are having a movie night, dining at a new restaurant, getting a couple's massage, going to a play, visiting the museum or art gallery or even doing something that will bring out the kid in you like laser quest or visiting an arcade.

If you're looking to cut back on cost, consider having a picnic, going to a tranquil pond to feed ducks or meeting each other at the bookstore to have coffee, talk and read. Another cost-effective date idea is to pack lunches for an afternoon hiking trip and have lunch by a calming stream.

If you want to stay indoors, cook dinner with a cultural theme, play music from that country and check out a book or DVD from the library to learn about that country. Or have a movie and game night. Rent your favorite movies, make great snacks and play a few board games. Ask a friend or sitter to keep the children for the night so you can have the house to yourselves.

If you need to cut costs on baby-sitting, identify another family in your church or neighborhood who needs help with their children and take turns sitting for free. You save money, your children have a play date with friends and you still get your much deserved free time. Remember, the happier and more fulfilled you are as a couple, the better parents you will be.

3. Practice forgiveness

Although many of us saw fairy tale or "Leave It to Beaver" images of marriage on television when we were growing up, it is essential we understand some challenges come in every marriage. As the years go by, it will be difficult to stay in love if you walk in unforgiveness and hold your spouse hostage in his or her past.

Realize there is no perfect person, no perfect relationship and that you also have own your own set of imperfections. There is a scripture in the Bible in the book of Philippians that says, "Forgetting those things that are behind me and reaching forward to the things that are before me, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God." This basically means that we must all make a decision to forget about negative memories and experiences that have occurred in our lives. It is vitally important to move forward from the past so you can enjoy your present and look forward to your future. After all, you can't fulfill your future if you're stuck in your past.

To walk in forgiveness in your relationship, avoid bringing up mistakes your spouse has made in previous years. When talking about forgiveness, it is equally important to forgive yourself of mistakes you have made. Don't be too hard on yourself and remember to allow yourself room for possible mistakes in the future. Just be confident that every step you take forward is a step toward progress and success.

4. Revitalize romance

Establish boundaries in your home as "love zones." For example, my husband and I have a rulethat we do not bring any bills or business paperwork into our bedroom. In fact, we don't even discuss finances or work in our bedroom. We've also added simple touches — candles, décor that has warm colors (burgundy, brown, gold) and soft lighting — which add a calming effect.

Another idea to revitalize the romance in your relationship is to read a book about marriage together each month. You can set aside just a few minutes to read aloud to each other after dinner or just before bedtime.

Trying to remember some of the reasons you first fell in love? Consider making a gratitude list of things you appreciate about each other. Make a point to say one item on your list every day for a week. Before you depart for work, always say something that will bring confidence, strength and security to your spouse.

5. Practice non-confrontational communication

When addressing an issue with your spouse, avoid phrases like, "you always do this" or "you never do that." Absolute words such as "always" and "never" are usually offensive to the person listening and typically somewhat inaccurate.

For example, let's say you'd like your husband to spend more time with you and your children. Instead of saying, "You always put work ahead of your time with us." It would be more effective to say, "Honey, when you come in from the office and continue working from home until we've all gone to sleep, it makes me feel as though you don't have time for us and don't miss us."

Every issue doesn't have to be addressed immediately. Scheduling a peaceful time to talk will allow you to calmly, respectfully and rationally address any concerns that you have. You can also start your statements with a compliment.

6. Establish your personal relationship with God

Of all six points, this is by far the most important. Take time everyday to pray before you begin talking about your schedules and responsibilities or before you start your routine. Even if you just take 15 minutes of quiet time to pray, read or listen to a teaching or music CD that will jumpstart your faith for the day. It will be well worth your time.

Think of taking time to pray as refilling your cup each day. A glass of water will eventually evaporate over time. As you allow God's word to pour into your spirit, you will feel refreshed, rejuvenated and restored.

Understand that it is impossible to give something you don't have. So allow God to restore love, peace, joy, patience and strength to your spirit in your prayer time and you will be able to give freely throughout your day.

The more whole and complete you become as an individual, the more satisfied you will be in your relationship. Don't look to your spouse to bring fulfillment that we were designed to receive from God in prayer. Learn to become steady in your emotions, skillful with your words and at peace in your spirit and your relationship will grow in ways that you never imagined.

By using these simple relationship tune-up tips you can rekindle your love for each other and make everyday Valentine's.

And as always, make today the best day of your life.

Junice Rockman of Murfreesboro writes about motivational and spiritual issues. Follow her column every other Friday in The Daily News Journal.